Marriage: From Rocky Road to Rock Solid

No marriage is perfect. Even the best of marriages experience problems from time to time. Just because you have problems in your marriage doesn't mean you have a bad marriage or that you should end your relationship. A marriage is a work in progress which requires patience and love.

Marriage was ordained of God

We read in the Bible in Genesis 2:24 - "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

From the beginning marriage has been ordained of God. It is a divine institution. It is sacred and should be treated as such. Have you ever stopped and thought about the fact that, in God's eyes, marriage isn't just a legal transaction like buying a car or a house - it is a sacred rite, like baptism or confirmation. When we mess with marriage we are treading on sacred ground.

Worldly concepts that affect marriage:

Sad to say but there are few today who view marriage as sacred. I'm afraid the world we live in has contributed to the cheapening of marriage. Consider the following:

1. It's a disposable world - we have disposable razors and diapers. You don't even fix VCRs or DVD players anymore; you just throw them away and buy new ones. Marriage is looked upon in the same way.
2. It's a quick fix world - you can fix your eyes in a day with laser surgery. You can whiten your teeth and get an instant tan in the same day. We are an impatient world and when something isn't working we want it fixed right now. If we can't fix our marriage right away then we want out.
3. It's a "new morality" world - Chastity and virtue and faithfulness to your spouse are scoffed and scored. But when you examine this "new morality" closer you'll find it's just the "old immorality."

Marriage: A frightening adventure!

Marrying someone is a scary thing. You hope you choose the right person. You think you know them but you don't. Not really! When my wife Lisa and I were dating we were so in love. We couldn't stand to be apart from each other. Neither of us could do any wrong. Then we got married. You wake up the next day to a stranger! Who is this person? Our first time shopping together and we get into a fight about cheese!

Our first big fight

One time just after we were married we were at a friend's house and I happened to say something that really embarrassed Lisa. Well, the drive home that night was not good. Boy did I get it up one side and down the other. When we pulled into the parking lot to our apartment building Lisa just got out of the car and started walking to the apartment without me. Obviously she didn't want me with her. So I just started up the car and took off. I was going to show her!

I was mad. I drove aimlessly through the city trying to sort out my feelings. I needed to go somewhere to think but nothing was open that late at night. So I drove out to the airport. This was before the days of high security. I began walking around the airport trying to figure things out and blow off some steam. I was practically the only person in the whole place.

For some reason I looked at my hand. I looked again in disbelief! My wedding ring was gone. "Oh, great!" I thought. "I've lost my wedding ring and Lisa's going to think I threw it in the river or something! I've got to find it."

I began searching the airport, retracing all my steps. It was nowhere to be found. I searched my car. I drove around aimlessly knowing I couldn't go back to Lisa without my wedding ring.

Several hours went by. I parked the car and just sat there. What was I going to do? Then a thought came to me. "Perhaps I lost it at work today." At that time I worked in a small cabinet shop. I just happened to have the key to the shop with me. By now it was about two in the morning. I drove to the cabinet shop and walked up to the door. I had been running several machines that day. Each of these machines were attached to big dust collectors, like giant vacuums, that sucked all the sawdust into a huge dumpster just outside the shop. I looked at that dumpster and my heart sank. If my ring got sucked up in there it would take days for me to find it.

I unlocked the shop and went inside. I looked at each of the machines I had used that day. There, sitting on one of the machines was a pair of gloves I had worn when I ran that machine. I picked up the left glove and put my hand inside. There was my ring! Oh I was so happy.

I jumped into the car and drove back to the apartment. I climbed the three flights of stairs to the floor where we lived. As I came closer to the door I could hear loud sobbing coming from inside the apartment.

"Oh Gary, please come home! Pleeeeaaaaase come home Gary!"

Oh, my poor, dear, sweet wife. What have I done? I opened the door and said "I'm home! I'm home!" I fully expected her to throw her arms around me and shower me with hugs and kisses. Oh no. This was not to be! Lisa took one look at me and screamed, "Don't you ever do that again! You dirty rotten excuse for a human being! How dare you leave me?"

And THAT was the beginning of our sacred marriage. It took a lot of compromise and give-and-take. We've gone through our good times and bad times. We've had six wonderful children and twenty six years of living and growing together to get to the point now where we can't live without each other. We're best friends now, where we finish each other's sentences, and where we have more affection and love and attraction to each other than on our wedding day. We're not perfect. We still have our struggles - but we're in it for the long haul because we love each other and because God is our partner in marriage. And THAT makes it sacred. Just remember that it didn't get that way over night!

Thank you.

About The Author: Garold N. Larson writes on personal development topics. You can find more information at Keys to Personal Development